My youngest started preschool last week. I can’t believe she’s almost three and already going to preschool. After spending the last year at home full-time, Madeline and I grew very close. We shared daily routines and special moments, and being together so often made saying goodbye on that first day especially difficult for both of us.
We filled her days with Gymboree play-and-learn sessions, music classes, walks to the park, play dates and weekly library visits. For a long time I was right by her side—hand in hand—through it all.
As the first day approached, I did everything I could to prepare her. We watched children’s shows about starting school, read books, and talked through what to expect. Madeline even learned a reassuring song from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood about grownups coming back. I wanted her to know she would be safe, that she would be okay, and that I would return to pick her up and hear all about her day.
Of course there were tears and some screaming when we walked in. Her preschool teacher calmly took her, her backpack and her blanket, said goodbye, and led her inside. Walking away, I felt a mix of sadness and pride—my little girl is growing up and I knew she would be fine.
Then something surprising happened: I discovered I had a little time to myself. With both Phoebe and Madeline at school, I suddenly found 3.5 hours of free time. It wasn’t much, but it felt like a gift, and I welcomed it.
People often ask me if I would do anything differently or what advice I have for new moms. Here’s what I tell them.
For brand-new moms with newborns, make one simple habit nonnegotiable: shower every day. It sounds small, but finding that time will make you feel a thousand percent better. Don’t stress about getting back to your pre-baby body overnight. If breastfeeding works for you, weight loss may come naturally. Focus first on caring for yourself, your partner, any other children you have, and your new baby.
And please, don’t put yourself last. A happy mother is a better mother.
Carve out at least 20–30 minutes of true “me time” every day. Schedule it with your partner and your kids, and don’t feel guilty. You need that quiet to rest and breathe. It’s only half an hour—make it happen.
Indulge once in a while. Eat that extra slice of chocolate cake and don’t feel guilty about it—you just had a baby. Keep your social life when you’re ready: use baby carriers and strollers, meet friends, schedule play dates and join support groups. If you have friends with kids the same age, great. If not, sign up for a Mommy-and-Me class. Early on it’s as much for you as it is for your child—you’ll meet other parents and your baby will start socializing.
Now a personal note: don’t let yourself slide completely. Keep up small grooming rituals that make you feel like yourself. If you used to get your hair done, try to keep it up—postpartum hair changes are common, but some care helps. Wash your face, go for a manicure or pedicure when you can, and put on makeup even if you’re not leaving the house. Swap that breastmilk-stained top for something fresh. These little acts of self-care boost your mood and confidence.
Remember, nobody is perfect. There will be bad days, but aim for more good ones. Take it one day at a time. By the time you’re on your second or third child, you’ll feel more confident and experienced.
Would I do things differently if I could start over? Of course—there’s always room for growth. But I’m following my own advice now: taking care of myself, savoring small moments, and moving forward one day at a time.